We All Need Belonging | Hooray for Monday - Center for Inspired Teaching

January 24, 2021

By Aleta Margolis, Founder and President, Center for Inspired Teaching

Hooray for Monday is a weekly blog filled with questions, ideas, reflections, and actions we can all take to remodel the school experience for students.

Belonging matters. According to anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, our sense of belonging is an important predictor of our well-being. As he explains in this recent episode of my favorite podcast Clear+Vivid with Alan Alda, the number and quality of our close friendships can be the best predictor of our psychological, and physical health and even an indicator of how well and long we’re likely to live.

That can feel like a steep hill to climb. Especially during these, now years, of social distancing. It can feel overwhelming to think about making new friends, or even nurturing existing friendships. As we continue to prioritize physical safety, many of us are feeling the desire for connection, and our need for belonging may be trending toward the unmet end of the spectrum.

This week I’m continuing to explore the ABCDEs of human needs, a tool Center for Inspired Teaching developed based on psychologist William Glasser’s Choice Theory. We originally developed the ABCDEs as a tool for teachers to use to analyze, understand, and empathize with students in distress. That original purpose is still a critically important part of our restorative approach to discipline in the classroom. However, as we continue to persevere through the extreme challenges of teaching during this pandemic, it’s wise to tend to our own needs as well – and the ABCDEs can help.

As we did last week with Autonomy, we’re offering a few simple questions to help you gauge how well your need for Belonging is being met right now – and to help you devise some steps to take…to meet it.

“I want to feel connected to and valued by those around me.”

Belonging is our psychological need to love and care for others and to believe that we are loved and cared for in family relationships, friendships, and working relationships. To belong, we must connect with people by cooperating, caring, sharing, and being involved.

Where is this need in your life right now according to this spectrum?

How is this need for belonging being met in your life right now?

What changes might be necessary in order for your need for belonging to be better met?

You can engage with these questions on our ABCDE website.

There are bigger hills to climb for sure as we strive to meet our need for belonging. But small steps can be beautiful if they are taken with intention. So start small – and notice the communities which fuel your sense of belonging. (See below for a reflection to help you identify these.)

And while you’re at it, don’t forget about the Hooray For Monday community! You belong to our community of teachers and parents who are committed to making school engaging and meaningful for students everywhere. Your presence in our community, and your practice in your own schools and families, contribute so much. Thank you.

Small Steps to Greater Belonging – A Reflection

There are lots of ways our sense of belonging can be bolstered – even with small steps.

Give yourself 3 minutes to list communities you are part of – listing as many as you can. Your list can include:

Communities you’ve deliberately chosen to join (a book group or improv class);
Communities that have selected you (your place of employment or your college alumni association);
Communities you are a part of by default (the street on which you live or your family or the parents of your child’s friends); and,
Any other community that’s a part of your identity.
Include online communities too (like, for example, the Schitt’s Creek Fans Group on Facebook or a particular list you follow on Instagram).

Pause for a moment. It’s worth simply noting how many communities you belong to. Even communities we may take for granted (the street I live on comes to mind) count.

Next, choose one of the communities to which you belong. Ask yourself:

What do I contribute to this community that is of value? Or… What could I contribute that is of value?
Then consider the other side of the question: What does this community offer me that is of value? Or… What could this community offer me that is of value?

The simple act of considering these questions – for one community or for all of them – can build connection, and help meet the need for belonging. And it may turn out that some communities truly bring value, and merit more of our time and energy, while some may not serve our needs as much as they once did. That learning is useful too.

Micaiah Anderson

Community Outreach Specialist

As a Community Outreach Specialist, Micaiah is responsible for program promotion and outreach support for Inspired Teaching events and workshops. Micaiah has a passion for collaborating with community members to build-power and connect. She is an educator with a heart for youth and has experience supporting students fight injustices within their schools and communities. She has a BA in Political Science from, the real HU, Hampton University & anticipates graduating in May 2024 with a Masters of Arts degree in Educational Policy Transformation from Georgetown University.

AUTONOMY

"I want to have a say in what happens to me."

Autonomy is the need for independence; the ability to make choices, to create, to explore, and to express oneself freely; to have sufficient space, to move around, and to feel unrestricted with opportunities to exercise free will.

Brady Maiden

Outreach Coordinator

As the Outreach Coordinator, Brady helps maintain Inspired Teaching’s social media presence and supports the organization’s mission to connect with DC community leaders, educators, and parents. Brady has her Master’s in Public Policy from George Mason University and her BS in Political Science from Northern Arizona University. She is passionate about community, equity, and coalition building recognizing that learning and growing with the community at large is how we continue to be impactful.

What brings you joy in life?

I find joy in spending time with my friends and family and meeting new people. I like going to concerts and festivals, and finding new books to read.

The Learner’s Cycle, Wonder-Experiment-Learn, and the Teacher’s Cycle, Observe-Plan-Instigate, comprise Inspired Teaching’s approach to engaging students in inquiry-based learning.

When they are engaged in the Wonder-Experiment-Learn Cycle, students are immersed in learning. They take the lead in designing authentic learning experiences around their own interests and their school’s standards of learning. Each discovery leads to a new question which in turn leads to more wondering and more learning. In the Wonder-Experiment-Learn Cycle, Learn is not a destination or an endpoint; it is a deeper understanding, leading to a deeper wondering and new possibilities that create new entry points to further exploration. The cycle continues because what students have learned generates more wonderings that require more experiments that foster more learning – and on and on.

The Observe-Plan-Instigate Cycle is the work of an Inspired Teacher. While a student is expected to follow the Wonder-Experiment-Learn Cycle, the teacher joins them on the learning journey while following their own cycle of Observe-Plan-Instigate. This cycle ultimately serves to ensure an inquiry-based atmosphere is at play in the classroom.

Jaqueta Abbey

Teaching and Learning Specialist

Jaqueta is the Teaching and Learning Specialist for Inspired Teaching. In addition to her current role with Inspired Teaching, Jaqueta is a first-grade teaching assistant. Her background features a variety of traditional and non-traditional experiences in the field of education, including working as an adjunct professor, teaching summer reading programs to children and adults, and tutoring children in the foster care system. Jaqueta earned a B.A. in Communication Studies from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and an M.A. in Interactive Media from Elon University.

What brings you joy in life?

Creative self-expression! In addition to my passion for storytelling, I love dancing of all kinds. I've studied belly dance, bachata, and Brazilian Zouk among other styles. I also enjoy glass fusing, crocheting, photography, and cross stitching. These art forms allow me to express myself and build connections with other people at the same time. I think life would be a lot less vibrant without artists and storytellers!

Michelle Welk

Communication & Marketing Specialist

As Communications and Marketing Specialist, Michelle is responsible for finding and creating new ways to highlight Inspired Teaching and promote its programs in order to expand and deepen the organization's impact. Michelle has worked in communications in an array of settings, from creative agencies to state politics to national nonprofits. She has a BA in Journalism from Temple University in Philadelphia and is passionate about education, access, and equity.

What brings you joy in life?

My son, the beach, making a persuasive argument and good food!

Max Peterson

Real World History Assistant Teacher

Max received his Bachelor’s degree in History and African American Studies from Boston University in May 2016. He has worked in museum curation at the Museum of the White Mountains in New Hampshire and the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. Max has worked with young people of varying ages from young children to young adults transitioning to college.

Feedback and Accountability

We grow through feedback and an understanding that the quality of our work is a reflection of what we are learning, but the shift to remote learning this spring disrupted a lot of the tools teachers were used to using to evaluate student growth. How might we do things differently this fall? Participants in this workshop will explore ways to bring meaningful assessment into the virtual and/or socially-distanced classroom and approaches to student feedback that strengthen motivation, and build relationships and achievement.