Looping

Discipline: Applicable in all subjects as a means of teaching students how to practice deep listening. Particularly useful as preparation for curriculum and content that encourages discussion and debate. This activity provides good practice with low-stakes public speaking and highlights the value of active listening as a key skill for understanding and collaboration.

Age level: Grade 3-12

Time: 20 minutes

Materials: A timer.

This activity is built upon the work of Amanda Ripley and her book High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. In the book, she explores several effective strategies people have used to de-escalate high conflict situations, and not surprisingly, deep listening is essential in every instance. The deceptively simple practice of “looping” – listening to understand, not just to respond, helps us get curious about other people’s perspectives and experiences – a critical skill for all members of a society.

What to do: 

Begin by asking students to think about something they have a strong opinion about – ideally, an opinion that they know not everyone shares. Depending on the age and content area you work with, these opinions can be low stakes, like “dodgeball is the best game to play at recess,” or higher stakes, like “high schools should do a better job of offering job counseling and not just college counseling.” 

Instruct students to choose a topic they could talk about for 2 minutes straight without interruption. If your students are very comfortable with conversation, they may not need to prepare for these two minutes, but if they need some scaffolding, you can have them write down a list of talking points (encourage them to come up with at least 20, they will struggle to list that many but this will help them be sure to fill the 2 minutes).

Pair students and have them choose who will be A and who will be B. 

Explain: 

We are going to practice a deep listening technique called “looping”. In this practice, one of you will speak for two minutes straight about this topic for which you have a strong opinion. You must speak for the full two minutes. 

Your partner will listen very, very closely for those full two minutes. Listening partners are going to pay such close attention that after the two minutes are up, they can say back everything they have heard as precisely as possible. So, listeners, you are ONLY paying attention to what your speaker has to say. You are not thinking of your opinion on this topic. You are not thinking of follow-up questions; you are just trying to listen and remember all you are hearing. 

After the speaker is done. The listener says back everything they heard. The most important part of their job comes after they’ve said everything they can remember. They then say to the speaker: 

DID I GET THAT RIGHT?

This is a critical step, and now the speaker has an even more important job, which is to correct the listener and clarify any parts they misunderstood. To be fully understood as people, we must get better at this step. In looping, the speaker has a responsibility to make sure the listener gets it right. Don’t be shy about making these corrections! 

After the speaker makes corrections, the listener tries again. After this redo, they again say: 

DID I GET THAT RIGHT? 

And they keep trying until they do. 

Then, we will switch roles. 

Any questions? 

Use a timer to keep track of the two-minute speaker portions. The listener’s replay portions typically take less time, and depending on how well they listened, they may not have to do much repeating. 

If partners finish early in the first round, encourage listeners to ask follow-up questions once they have correctly said back what they heard. 

Once everyone has completed the first round, have partners swap roles, and now the prior listener shares their two-minute talk, and the prior speaker does the replay. 

Debrief

After both partners have spoken and listened, debrief with the class about what they learned:

• What did you notice about yourself as either a speaker or a listener?
• Which was harder for you? Why? 
• What does this activity make you think about how you show up for conversations? 
• Are there people in your life who you know would be exceptionally good at the listening part? Who are they? What do they do that leads you to think this? 
• What was it like to really listen before responding? 
• How did it feel to share opinions that might be different from those of your peers? 
• What will you remember most from this experience?

Standards Addressed by this Activity